A Guide to TK's Love Life- to be frequently updated

Strikes me there's much confusion about this, so here's the highlights. Complete honesty, I promise, although there are a few people I'll omit for reasons of their not being particularly interesting. Bolded folks are srs relationships:

MC. She of the superior taste in music and Queen of Snuggles. My first kiss. Stopped short of the full enchilada because I was nowhere ready. Ultimately my trust issues and her anger issues proved toxic and we're now the best of mates, even if she is a sciency type. Loved and lovely.

Anu. One night in a crowded and swelteringly hot club. One of the best kissers I've ever encountered. Fascinating conversationalist, but sadly we only chat occasionally over Facebook. I strongly suspect she doesn't remember who I am.

Ani. Ironically the person who my family would most approve of. However I wasn't looking to do that level of long distance, plus she's a little immature. Again, mate of a medium standing. Easy to get along with.

H. The one that never was.

N. The one that shouldn't have been. Fell quite intensely and humiliatingly in... well... something or other. Misjudged his level of maturity with mildly catastrophic results. Cannot think of a situation in which we would speak. Would probably piss on him if he was on fire, but would still enjoy that I got to piss on him.

The first.

J. Lovely guymate who helped he get over the aforementioned N with sex and Options hot chocolate. Blond, sweet, considerate. Most talented pair of hands I've ever encountered on a human being (He whittles you gutterminds) and generally lovely piece of work.

Dar. He of the killer smile and the liberal minded older girlfriend (fiance? Rumours will abound...). Sent me some frankly pornographic texts before I shut him down by going out with his sister D (see below.)

Am. Sweetie who I almost went and corrupted. Spared him, but we still chat.

Aim: Ginger rock chick with lovely legs. Mutual interest expressed. Probably would have been Good for me, which is why naturally I ended up going for...

D. Model (!) who fell for me on the basis of having known me since before she was hot, and my being the only guy in her life who wasn't a complete dick apart from her brother. No, she doesn't know we flirted, nor does she read the blog.

I turned out to only be a partial dick. I hope she doesn't think that it's her that brings it out in people. Still, we had a few months before other stuff came in. In my mind that time tastes of red wine and smells like frankincense. Never felt more alive.She's principled, complicated, brave, good at feigning confidence and utterly adorable at times. Unfortunately our relationship has been dogged by the flare up of my trust issues.

Sidebar: I'm pretty sure her dad's the only person in her family who isn't bi. Something in the water perhaps?

Matt. Golden haired gent of a wealthy persuasion. Lovely for his age, but unfortunately the wrong side of married for me. I know: apparently I have a line. Who knew?

L. Slightly older. I expressed an interest, he didn't. However he did offer to proof read a few of my poems, so I'm chalking it up as a win.

Em. Small (compact seems more apt than thin) older lady with a gorgeous cut glass English accent and, judging by all available evidence, scads of cash. Actually, no. she texts far too filthily for a lady.

C. Skinny but toned looking. Slightly older American. Articulate, well read, beautiful hands and most definitely not looking for anything serious. Much flirting occured over mutual baking habits but no funny stuff. What do I look like, a manslut?

5. Half French four kidneyed sweetheart finally introducted after seven years of mutual friendship with G. Playful, cute, looks smashing in a suit. Now mate of the 'best' variety. For some reason finds it odd that I try to get him laid.

R. Overacheiving Liverpudlian. We kissed, cuddled, nothing (much) more. There was that kind of electricity, that hot muddled kind of thing. Two days later he got all possessive on seeing me dance with someone else. On reflection: could have been potential, but can't handle that kinda prissiness.

D. Fisting, purely in the interests of scientific curiosity (on my part anyway). We later met in the supermarket. I shit you not, he was buying a butternut squash.

Kat. Glasses, curves. Curiously conical breasts. We met in a club, off our faces, snogged each other to death but were too drunk to do anything more. Called her the next day. We skirted round each other over texts. She did that thing of waiting 15 minutes before replying. Girls, here's a clue; that shit is annoying. (But it works). Eventually I went round while her housemate was out of town. We drank 100% proof vodka and watched Sarah Millican. Paused to fuck twice. She liked the lightest of touches followed by rough handling. We laughed a lot that day, and she kissed me at the front door almost like a boyfriend and asked me to call her. I did.

Hands. Monniker so earned because HOLYMOTHEROFGOD. Boy is good with his hands. Picked me up while fliritng over Isherwood (still not sure whether this is something to be proud of or not) and were at his within two hours. Only a few years older but I've never quite felt so sexually outclassed, and I'm including the loss of my virginity there. Enjoys me in tight white underwear and has the biggest collection of sex toys I've ever seen in my life. That shit is classy too, I swear to god I've never seen cock rings taht look like art before.

M&M. Lovely European couple with an attic apartment and the cutest cat. Am currently enjoying a semi-regular Friday evening threesome, often with dinner and breakfast included. Intelligent, physical. One likes it rough and sensual, the other v. into the visual. I counted it up on the bus home once; One room, six hours, eight orgasms. Many hands make light work, no?