TK's Blog

I really do love slang. Honest. I love swear words and bywords and all the euphemisms that your parents used when you were little, all the rebellious little syllables you hesitated to utter, then uttered too much in an attempt to seem cool to your friends. And ladies I know, I know that you don't exactly have a plethora of delightful words to use when discussing your wrinkly bits. 'Cunt' is brutal, 'vagina' is clinical and 'pussy' conjures up images of Postman Pat. For most people none of these things constitute a turn on (if brutality or medical roleplay do it for you then skip ahead. If Postman Pat is your kink of choice then on behalf of humanity I suggest you check yourself into some kind of facility) and when writing sexy poetry/fiction you're left with limited choice. As someone who recently inspired his creative writing class to spend fifteen minutes discussing the pros and cons of the word 'panties', and in fact provoked a debate which is now referred to as Pantygate, I get it, totally. Our lexicon on matters sexual is woefully limited in terms of genuinely titillating verbiage.

That said, please let it be known that 'Vajayjay' is quite possibly the most obscenely saccharine term ever used to describe human genitalia and should be stricken from your vocabulary. Like, yesterday. Especially when mentioned in the same sentence as the words 'turgid member'.

Shudder.

P.S. It is perhaps a sad indictment of the aforementioned issue that Blogger's autocorrect understands Vajayjay but refuses to believe that 'titillating' is a real word.