Goodness that last post was bitchy! Surely I can't post two moans back to back!
Au contraire. It's my blog innit? Accept this offering in the knowledge that I'll follow it up with something that smacks less of self indulgent fart smelling next time.*
I am a procrastinator by nature, the only time I've ever been early is out of the womb. But this inability to work is worrying. It's not just work; there are two mag deadlines I want to submit in time for in late January and I've not so much as written a word of a poem. I sit down, I pick up my pen and fuck all happens.
A playwright told me over dinner once that you have to be in charge of The Muse. Well maybe, but I'm a submissive by nature and far happier being the whipping boy than the slave master.**
It might be worth my trying to take the Elizabeth Gilbert approach (I've not read Eat, Pray, Love but if you're at all creatively inclined I suggest you freaking watch that video- it's like being given a glass of Bailey's and a hug.)
The essays are a total slog, but will get done. The creative stuff... that's a bit scarier. The last time I had a creative dry spell this long was in the midst of Serious Shit Going Wrong in life when I was so depressed I could barely get up of a morning let alone shit out a sonnet.*** So why then?
Top reasons:
- I've lost my mojo, and am afraid to admit it.
- I've never had any mojo, people have just been humouring me.
- My mojo is a bitch.
- I've achieved perfection and just can't improve on it.
- I'm actually totally happy and therefore have no angst to plumb.
In other news: 5 and I continue to deplore our fate as star-crossed lovers with the M25 betwixt us. Phone conversation the other day brought up the possibility of uni in Manchester. You know, the north. Do the trains even go there? More importantly, do they come back alive? I shudder to think what happens to southerners up there, not to mention the serious risk of ending up with an SO who sounds like a Mancunian.
Eh, what's that? Southern prejudice? Feh!
Ok guys, I'll post this, and then set up a nice autopost for you so that you have something from me within the next couple of days.
TK xx
*not literally. Obviously.
**Also not literally. Man, what is wrong with you?
***Again, not literally. If I was going to shit something it would defo be free verse.
